Uphill battle

I have never been much of a risk taker. I have had some exciting times but for the most part I am a pretty ordinary and normal person. I thought I lived a good life and did the right things until recently the last couple of years my weight really ballooned up on me.

It seemed like no matter what I did, the weight would just keep going up. I went from slim and trim to borderline morbidly obese. To be honest, in the beginning I said, oh the clothes don’t fit like they used to, and I’d go up a size. Then there came a point where half the stores I used to shop in didn’t carry my size. Until now there are two stores I can buy clothes from. I find its hard to walk up stairs. I am often achy.

My life career plans have been put on hold.

It took all my courage to eventually talk to my doctor, and she sent me to a gynecologist, the result being that I have been diagnosed with PCOS. I probably always had the it but when I was thin it wasn’t causing symptoms, as I gained more weight the PCOS picked up and then made it harder to lose weight.

So now I am extremely heavy, diagnosed with PCOS and a symptom of it is being insulin resistant, so losing weight is harder and putting it on is easier.

Now I am beginning to put myself first, make healthy choices and live for me. I have this, and I will do all that is in my power to win.


Stop With The Excuses 

For years I told myself I couldn’t afford to eat healthy. I said fresh foods are too expensive. Instead I bought prepared frozen messes called food.

If this is the wake up call you need to hear then hear it loud and clear. Stop making excuses. Choose wisely and go for it.

For under $20 look at the pile of food I brought home today.

They were all marked down 50% off. All fresh and will last for more than a few days.

Don’t be afraid to look at that discount cart at the grocery store. Don’t be afraid to make changes.

Don’t you deserve a healthier you?

The uphill struggle to see the scale go down.

I am continuing on the journey, adjusting foods, watching portions. As I heal physically I am increasing my daily activities.

My spouse is a big supporter right now when it comes to household tasks. That means sometimes he does the bront of the work.

Today was an outside day. We washed the siding on the house. It was a spray on cleaner attached to the hose. Scrub a bit using a brush and hose off.

The white house actually looks white again. The amount of dirt was amazing. Three summers worth of dirt.

The car was washed and waxed. It has a sparkle to it again.

I stepped on the scale to see 286. Down 14 lbs since May 19th.

Making Choices

Today I drove for the first time since surgery. I only went to get gas and get it washed.
I did practice willpower in that I drove by about 10 different fast food restaurants. I instead came home had home made soup and a sandwich. 

6 weeks ago I might gave came home with subway or at least an ice capp. 
I don’t have any health problems causing weight gain. I gained 190 lbs in 16 years through choices. I comforted myself with food. Rewarded myself with food.

Breaking 16 years of bad habits will be hard but I will be better for it.

It’s the little steps. One choice at a time.

It’s been a while but I am back.

Well its been a while since I posted. I am back now.

I had an ongoing medical problem that ended with emergency surgery.

It has been a few weeks and I am finally back on my feet. The recovery has gone smoothly but having weeks of limited activities takes it’s toll on one’s mind.

It took two weeks to get over the effects of the anesthesia. My mind was in a fog and I had trouble putting my thoughts together.

I have a nice 4 inch scar and have to watch what I do. It’s now 6 weeks after surgery and I am starting to be more active.

Surgery was a bit of a shock when I had to give my weight. I thought it was 285. I was more shocked to come home step on the scale and find out I was 300. This is the heaviest I have ever been. I don’t know how I let my weight get so out of control.

Yesterday I took a trip to my local shopping mall. As I was walking through a sporting goods store I saw my reflection in a few different mirrors and I was shocked at my appearance. I didn’t recognize the body that was in front of me. I was absolutely floored and I think for the first time saw what others saw.

I got so used to seeing just a part of me at a time. My face and neck or my chest and arms or my legs. 

It’s horrifying I have done this to my body. That trip to McDonald’s just one time that turns into 4 trips in one week, those sugary coffee drinks, that extra butter on a roll. I would always tell myself just once more. This is my last treat. All the excuses I told myself.

As a result of surgery I have been on a low fat, low sugar, high fibre diet. It’s been rough keeping to it. To actually think about the food I am ingesting not as a treat but merely as fuel.

The hardest part has been making sure I am eating protein, cutting down on the carbs and increasing my vegetables.

My usual breakfast since surgery has been a zucchini bran muffins, one egg, half and apple, half a banana and half a cup of probiotic yogurt.

For lunch homemade soup.

Supper chicken breast and vegetables.

It does get a little tiring eating the same thing each day but I have gotten into a habit with the preparation.

I do have a few substitutes like making a smoothie for breakfast and a hard boiled egg or fish instead of chicken for supper. I might change up the seasonings.

In doing this, although I  am less active I have lost about 12-15 lbs in 6 weeks. For my weight this is a healthy weight loss.

I know it’s not all about numbers on a scale but I tell you even after losing 15 lbs seeing my “slimmer” self in the mirror at the sporting goods store I couldn’t see the slimmer self. 

I have more energy and I can see small differences such as I can fit my fingers of one hand around my opposite wrist.

This is a painful and slow process. I am hoping to keep up my progress and add to it as I heal more. I hope not to backslide as I have so many times before.

Now you have the hard truth from me, I am publishing numbers from a scale that I am ashamed of but those are my true numbers.

Walking for Fitness

Now that the weather is nicer it’s easier to get outside to walk. My cardiovascular health hasn’t been the greatest after a winter stuck inside.

I am currently aiming for 5 kms a day. Some days it’s harder but it’s doable. Baby steps to a stronger me.
I have been craving fast food. Having to drive by 6+ restaurants a day is increased temptation. Even stopping for a coffee is dangerous for me. My wallet thanks me, along with the environment and my body.
As the spring brings warmer weather I notice just how many bad habits I have picked up and used the excuse, well just this once or twice or 3 times. 

I need to be more accountable to myself and my road to a healthy me.
In a few days I am working up the courage to post a picture that will make me face the reality of what I have put my body through.

2017 first update

2017 is the year of letting go for me. It’s been a new years resolution.
A change I can notice is that I have cleared out 1.5 closets, 4 under the bed clothing bins and a few laundry baskets. This is just my clothing. It’s gone in my church yardsale and the hospice boutique.
I am emptying off bookshelves  (mostly Tudor Era historical fiction and church related).
I am clean eating and since Christmas knocked a few more lbs off with many to go.
I am back into physical training and taking time to make myself physically and emotionally stronger.
 Physically I have less breakouts, less bloating, and I sleep better. I am trying this for me. 2017 is when I follow God’s call to be a stronger me to be able to serve God better.

Two Player Clue


1) Remove Weapon/Suspect/Room cards as normal. 
2) Shuffle the remaining cards and place one card face-down on the board on each room. 
3) Deal 4 cards each to the two players. 
4) Place the one remaining card face-up next to the board. This begins the “collective clues” pile. 

Players may move to any adjacent room each turn and may make an accusation in that room. Adjacent rooms here counts any room that is direct or diagonal to the current room. Secret passages also count as an adjacent room.

First Turn
Players Determine randomly who goes first. 
The first player moves from the entrance to any room in the mansion (as all are adjacent according to the above definition). 

Follow movement rules as aforementioned. When the player lands on the room, she takes the face-down card into her hand. 

The first player makes an accusation as usual, with the current room being the location of the murder. Do not move player pawns around the board when making the accusation. 

If the second player has any cards in hand, he reveals one of them and places it in the “collective clue” display next to the board. 

“Leaving a Fingerprint”
The first player then must place a face-down card from her hand on the room with a marker showing that she has left it. The marker could be the heads/tails side of a coin, a colored cube, poker chips, etc. 

The turn is now over.

Special Rules

Turn Order
The turn order is as follows:

First Player / Second Player / Second Player/ First Player / Second Player / etc.

This equalizes the first player advantage. 

If the player lands on a room where she already has a left a fingerprint marker and a face-down card, she may leave a different card upon leaving the room. 

If a player lands on a room where another player’s fingerprints and face-down card are present, he places the card into the “collective clue” display instead of taking it into his hand. 

If at any time placing a fingerprint marker and card would leave a player with no cards in hand, he keeps that card in his hand instead and does not leave a face-down card or marker on that room. 

Final Accusation
At any time, a player may make a final accusation. He or she does not need to be in the room where the murder occurred. 

That may seem like a lot of rules, but it flows pretty quickly. There’s a bit of strategy in trying to empty your opponent’s hand by trying to guess what’s in there hand. Also, there’s a bit of positioning to figure whether you want to grab new clue cards or go after the “fingerprints” your opponent has left. 

It should set-up/play in 30 minutes easily. 

Another variant I could see is to do away with investigator sheets entirely, forcing players to remember which “fingerprints” they left. May be a good option for younger children looking to test their memory skills 

Oh My Darlin’ Clementine

I find sugar is my main addiction as I try to eat healthier. it seems like everything I look at has a crazy amount of sugar in it.

I recently bought what I thought was healthy cereal “Quaker Harvest Crunch Granola”. The box proclaimed lower in fat and salt than the previous version. I grabbed it quickly without reading the nutritional panel. 

After I had a bowl I looked at the panel. I found the cereal sickeningly sweet. In 1/2 cup,  45 grams, there is 12 grams of sugar. This was in a supposedly healthy cereal. 

After that I am taking a look at more of the processed foods that I normally buy in he super market. It is no wonder I liked sugar so much as it is in everything from cereal to soup.

Those little fruit cups that  I love to take in my lunch as a “healthy” dessert, forget it. They have almost as much sugar as fruit. 

So I go back to square one and go back to basics. Get rid of this processed garbage and eat more foods I prepare. That way I can control the sugar, fat, salt.

My new dessert in my lunch, two clementines. I never realized how good thar little fruit tasted and how easy it was to take for lunch.

With any food the key is moderation. Too many and I am ingesting a good amount of natural sugar along side too uch tooth damaging citric acid.

I came across this nice article on the benefits of the clementine.